Dallas Douchebags

Do yourself a favor and read the reviews. A “Mr Junk” said his broke after only two days of use…..

Douchebag is when it takes two lanes to make a left turn in your Bentley.

….5 minutes after my last blog………..4 real

Please don’t ever poke me you dirty dirty old man. 

Pistachio Duchebag is back……. 

This is what a girl gets for being absolutely honest with a match.com douchebag: pure class. I would like to point out that this particular douchebag is 49, eats at titty bar/chain restaurants like twin peaks and hooters 1-2 meals out of the day, and has the nerve to tell women to be grateful when he sends them APOLOGY flowers (after he acted like a complete asshole for no reason) made of carnation fillers discarded from the local horse races. Also, I’m 28 not 26. Those two years make a big difference on my 15% I saved in 15 minutes……..

Dude second from the right is a Monster Douchebag…. Period!

This looks like a cross between Sports Clips and GENIUS ;) Next time you mean mug though wipe all the douchebag jizz stains off your mirror. At first I thought you were “CUMMIN AT ME BRA!!!”

This guy exudes pure class. His nipples also taste like hairspray for some reason. Cant imagine why that would be. Maybe that lipstick stain is a few days stale…..like that miller lite….

Wine Pong Gone Wrong:

Stripes Douchebag showed up with ping pong balls to play “wine pong” out of my $30 a piece Waterford crystal wine glasses with “rodeo warm” Miller Lite beer (couldn’t figure out how to operate a refrigerator door until shown), poured himself and his friend multiple glasses of actual alcohol they didn’t finish, gave a 20 minute debate on what the definition of the word bastard actually means and how its does NOT apply to his own, then proceeded to play the role of Mr Stripes: Douchebag One Upper with every story, reference, or sentence in general that poured out of his mouth. He can be found on Match.com, 27 years old and of course lives in Dallas, TX ;) This was his first date with the blonde, my friend who is blurred out in the picture. 

His friend in Plaid, although questionable by association, surprisingly had manners and was enjoyable company compared to Mr. Stripes. This warranted a generous blurring of his face. ;)

Please say you have one more bullet…..

My 4th grade English teacher wouldn’t approve.

Match.com needs a douche filter……