Dallas Douchebags |
The Best That Dallas Has to Offer, "I'm Smarter Than You" |
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Dude second from the right is a Monster Douchebag…. Period!
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Pulled this gem down off of Facebook:“If someone sees this guy out in public could you please tell him that getting a second tattoo…………an exact replica of the first tattoo……… of a girls name……. who he is not even dating anymore…………and has been separated from for over a month before he got the second tattoo……….. on his arms……in an area that is visible to coworkers and his boss..…. the same arms used for domestic violence against the girl who the tattoo is dedicated to……and the tattoos are not even symmetrical or in the same font……….is dumb. Really really dumb. The shameless shall remain nameless.” -
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This looks like a cross between Sports Clips and GENIUS ;) Next time you mean mug though wipe all the douchebag jizz stains off your mirror. At first I thought you were “CUMMIN AT ME BRA!!!”
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This guy exudes pure class. His nipples also taste like hairspray for some reason. Cant imagine why that would be. Maybe that lipstick stain is a few days stale…..like that miller lite….
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Wine Pong Gone Wrong:
Stripes Douchebag showed up with ping pong balls to play “wine pong” out of my $30 a piece Waterford crystal wine glasses with “rodeo warm” Miller Lite beer (couldn’t figure out how to operate a refrigerator door until shown), poured himself and his friend multiple glasses of actual alcohol they didn’t finish, gave a 20 minute debate on what the definition of the word bastard actually means and how its does NOT apply to his own, then proceeded to play the role of Mr Stripes: Douchebag One Upper with every story, reference, or sentence in general that poured out of his mouth. He can be found on Match.com, 27 years old and of course lives in Dallas, TX ;) This was his first date with the blonde, my friend who is blurred out in the picture.
His friend in Plaid, although questionable by association, surprisingly had manners and was enjoyable company compared to Mr. Stripes. This warranted a generous blurring of his face. ;)
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Please say you have one more bullet…..
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My 4th grade English teacher wouldn’t approve.
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Match.com needs a douche filter……
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"Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, you’d bring me up in conversation forever. And when it rained, I’d be the talk of the day."
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DB#1 “You smell so good, like whey protein baby”
Girl “You are so hot right now”
DB#1 “I knew that already baby, think I am stupid?”
DB#2 “look, someone is taking my photo… I am going to make a cool face”
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DB#1 “Dude, you look great”
DB#2 “I know, right!”
DB#1 “Sweet Belt Buckle”
DB#2 “Not as sweet as your sweet hair man”
DB#1 “I know right, took an hour”
